No More Trains to Baghdad, Please

by

Last Train to Baghdad 2 6×20

The second installment was actually much more boring than the set-up.

Sam foolishly consults with Jennifer about her crush on Jeff Baylor. Jennifer advises her to indulge her crush, since it will probably pass, but obviously Jennifer has an ulterior motive. We see a Jo-esque photo shoot involving Jeff throwing shoes in the air. Why? Who knows! So they go on a date to Jeff’s favorite pizza place where everyone fawns all over him, since apparently he made a park for the little leaguers. Sam gets a wettie, and I crave pizza.

Meanwhile, “Christine” makes a toast to Kyle and Amanda at their rehearsal dinner at Taylor’s bitchy behest, but she ends up running off in tears, mid-speech. Kyle inspires that in me too, “Christine.” In other failing relationships, Lexi hears the incriminating tape and ends up leaving Peter, putting a crimp in Megan and Coop’s relationship.

Kevin Federline makes a deal with Michael that he will take care of his “legally challenged” friends in exchange for a few hundred dollars and some referrals. Later on K. Fed comes in with a friend named Paulie with a gunshot wound. Michael tries to call the paramedics to take Paulie to the ER, but K. Fed pulls a gun on him to get him to deal with it personally. Michael tries to back out of their deal but K. Fed assures him that he will “learn to appreciate” him. Having seen the rest of the season, I can assure K Fed, it isn’t so.

Megan comes to meet Michael because she’s lonely, I think, and some random people hold them at gunpoint, but K. Fed intervenes. Michael thinks he set it up, whether or not that’s true is unclear.

Wedding time! Amanda’s wedding dress is INSAAAAANE. It has a plunging neckline and fur collar. I long for PETA to splash her with paint at the altar. Taylor gives Amanda a picture of her and Kyle on their wedding day for her something old. Something borrowed is her husband. On the way out the door: “By the way—your dress is hideous.” Love their feud. Also, Taylor’s a little bit right.

Kyle is running late to his wedding because he found “Christine’s” suicide note, that she’s going to “catch that train” and end everyone’s suffering. He calls Amanda to ask her to stall, but she is not having it, which I love. She’s just like, “Call the cops or something.” “Christine” is sitting in her car on the tracks. Again, why? This seems like a huge risk for a con. Kyle pulls her out of the car and she tells him she loves him.

Jennifer, proving the adage that you can’t scheme schemer, tells Sam that the suicide has ploy written all over it. Sam shares that she and Billy haven’t boned (excuse me, made love) in weeks. Hurrah! Jennifer advises she restrict her Jeff actions to flirting.

Nick shows up to “Christine’s” hospital room and they bone in the hospital bed. Comfy! “Christine” also bitches that it was a close call. Yes… again, seemingly too risky, but what do I know. Also, I would soooo rather hook up with Nick than Kyle, but I’d probably take secret option three: neither.

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