I need your sperm!


There are so many amazing classic Melrose moments that this whole blog could be about them. Sometimes I feel like the writers room is just a deck of cards with the male characters and deck of cards with the female characters and they draw one from each and get them together.

How else can you explain 6×03’s Kyle and Amanda and Taylor and Michael? The ostensible reason for the latter pairing is that Taylor needs to get pregnant to scheme Kyle back into their marriage (apparently she’s over Peter Burns, suddenly), and she needs it done now since she’s already told Kyle she’s pregnant. I guess she’s never heard of a paternity test? Pretty odd since Amanda keeps demanding one.

Anyway, Taylor corners Michael in his office and yells “I gotta get pregnant tonight… Have sex with me!… I neeeed your sperm!!” Because it’s Michael as soon as Taylor flashes some flesh and pouts those radiant lips at him he is overcome, as if against his will. By the end of the episode he succumbs a second time on the desk at work all the while moaning “No no nooooo.” Lips aside, Taylor is pretty tiny. If he really didn’t want to I’m fairly certain he could have gotten away.

6×04 continues this ridick storyline, with Michael at a medical conference and Megan turning up while he’s boning Taylor in the shower. But more importantly! It introduces a new character. I don’t remember mentioning yet that Matt’s apartment has been taken over by a scheming Dr. Cooper who wants to avenge Kimberly’s death, but there is more to the story! His exwife Lexi is introduced, and she looks and sounds a lot like Allison, but is MUCH more awesome. She’s a schemer and a pill popper and it turns out that Dr. Cooper fell in love with Kimberly when she was in her coma. That is some creepy Talk to Her shit, especially when he falls in love with Megan while she’s in a coma. I guess he’s lucky he’s a doctor, or this would be a very difficult fetish to maintain.

Apparently Cooper is friends with Kimberly’s mom. Let’s just say… the nut does not fall far from the nut. This woman is carrying quite a grudge, and she has like 9000 headshots of Kimberly around her living room. It seems a bit over the top.

And the best thing about this episode? Sam proposes to Billy… and he says NO!!! And then she leaves him! Christmas came early this year!



One Response to “I need your sperm!”

  1. Kyle’s Flashbacks, Amanda’s Legs, and Lexi’s Vague Understand of the Law « Booze. TV. Food. How Do *You* Spend Friday Nights? Says:

    […] to Michael that “people around here trade lovers like baseball cards.” That’s what I said! Sometimes I feel like the writers room is just a deck of cards with the male characters and deck […]

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