And then he’ll be crying into my shoulder pads…

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Glee is infuriating.  I want to like it so much , and it tries really hard, it reeeeaally does.  Maybe it, like its theatrical assemblage of characters, can come on too strong and therefore be rendered unattractive.  Maybe it’s like how I feel about meeting my high school self, which I’m pretty sure would be sorta cringe-y.   Oh but I bet high school me would love Glee without abandon.

It does have occasional flashes of brilliance (Kurt’s “Single Ladies” punt routine coupled with touching storyline about his dad, Rachel singing anything, also Kurt doing pretty much anything) and I feel like the necessary ingredients for an amazing show exist, but it’s just not quite coming into its own, and this early stage is a critical period for a tv show.  The foundations are being laid, and it can get really bad from here.  Which is why: no more fake pregnancy storyline please (although the actual teen one with the ever more likable Quinn and dopefuck boyfriend Finn, who sang to a sonogram this episode while I shat myself, is bearable), and also no more Mr. Schuster until he becomes less of a total jackoff weenie dickbrain — same goes for his lame scrawny porcelain doll love interest counselor and their will they or won’t they blahfest.

On last week’s, which I’m just now watching, it at least leaned more toward brilliant for the first time in what seems like a long time.  Last week I mostly remember the plot that resulted in wheelchair dancing to the “roooolling, roooolling, rooooolling on the river…” part of “Proud Mary” and teens learning a valuable lesson about diversity and struggle and sticking together and me throwing up in my mouth a little bit, but then this week Rachel, who as previously stated, is amazing, gets a crush on Mr. Schuster (gross, right, but remember who your stupid high school self had crushes on…some of them were totes gross, be honest) and sings the song of the very name of her diseeeease from the late 90s called “Crush” (my stupid high school self liked this song…turns out I’m still moved to the native rhythms of pop music that my people have been crafting and celebrating proudly for generations, current self also likes it) hilariously to a freaked out Mr. Schuster in his car, and before than there was sonogram singing (“I’ll Stand by You” by The Pretenders…heeeeeeee), and before that Kurt was discussing his plan to seduce Finn and was all “…and then he’ll be crying into my shoulder pads” which is funny because it’s true, Finn tends to get weepy and Kurt wears things that must contain shoulder pads, oh and then Finn sings “You’re Having My Baby” (interwebs tell me Paul Anka wrote and sang, in duet with someone I don’t know, this cheezy 70s jewel) to Quinn at a veeeery stupid, inopportune time (dinner with Quinn’s ‘rents, who love Glenn Beck, might not take the news so well dumbass).  Also the series had a rare moment of dramatic umph when Quinn delivered a kind of devastating speech to her parents about her pregnancy, and the actress who plays her, Dianna Argon, actually had me believing this was a real person and what she said was meaningful and sad, which is just something Glee usually doesn’t get entirely right when it tries.

Sue Sylvester (Jane Lynch, so we already know worlds ahead of the others in comic consistency) wasn’t part of this, and this bodes even better for this episode’s standing, because I still liked it.  The show needs to figure out how to integrate her character better, because she is starting to get stale and not grow with the others and becoming a little one-note, and I don’t want to see that happen to Sue, because she’s great and so is Jane Lynch and they, character and actress, deserve better.

Ugh the show did get pretty cheeseball bad at the end when they sang “Lean on Me” to Quinn and Finn — but Quinn and Puck made sex eyes at each other and I love this love triangle so much more than any other featured on the show, and Kurt made phone fingers and batted his eyes at Finn, so it wasn’t all a travesty.  I just know you can do it again in upcoming episodes Glee!  I outgrew my awkwardness (nod in agreement) and you can too!  I believe in you!  Now put on some pimple cream and let it bake under those floodlights!

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5 Responses to “And then he’ll be crying into my shoulder pads…”

  1. gnatalby Says:

    All of your suggestions are works of brilliance. Will is such a repulsive egomaniac.

    Gross, right, but remember who your stupid high school self had crushes on…some of them were totes gross, be honest

    Um, yes, my crush wore pirate shirts and pants so tight you could see the outline of deeeeck, and that was not at all the fashion of the day.

    The scene where Finn sings to Quinn at the dinner table was incredible. It was totally how a musical number would go down in real life: mute horror.

    As previously discussed, Quinn’s parents seem really well off, making Quinn’s desperation to leave Ohio seem weird unless, as you posited, they paid for the mansion in buckeye dollars.

    My preferred crush song is #1 Crush by Garbage from the Romeo + Juliet soundtrack. It would have been amazingly creepy if Rachel had sung that to Will.

  2. The Dumbing Down of Disability on Glee « Booze. TV. Food. How Do *You* Spend Friday Nights? Says:

    […] I have an enormous crush on Puck and I love Kurt and Rachel’s rivalry. Last week doostyn made a list of things Glee has to lose in order to become the excellent show we both want it to be. To that I have to add: No more very special episodes about […]

  3. Andrea Says:

    You know when you’re reading something and chewing on some candy, so not prepared to open your mouth, but then you read something like this “and also no more Mr. Schuster until he becomes less of a total jackoff weenie dickbrain” but you have a cold, so instead of being able to laugh you kind of snort and snot yourself? This was a great post. I also have my fingers crossed for Glee.

  4. doostyn Says:

    Just a disclaimer…The Booze Tube cannot be held responsible for any bodily fluid mishaps that occur during enjoyment of said blog. It gets messy in these parts, so it’s bound to happen. 🙂

    Thanks for reading!

  5. While They Were In There I Told Them to Go Ahead and Yank Out Those Tear Ducts « Booze. TV. Food. How Do *You* Spend Friday Nights? Says:

    […] By gnatalby Apparently Doostyn and I are sorcerers, because we got practically everything we wanted from Glee this week! Yay I can just love you as you as you are you tricksy […]

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