The Greatest Dream Sequence of Our Time

by

Megan, in a blue satin bathrobe walks into a garden looking wondrously to and fro at the, I must say, rather unremarkable foliage. As if in Alice in Wonderland, a patio table appears. Seconds later, so does the ghost of Kimberly Shaw, looking totally fetch in a white skirt and purple tank top. Megan sports a look of comically exaggerated shock.

KS: Don’t be shy! Come join me! You can’t imagine how wonderful this is, ever since I passed through to the other side, I’m finally at peace.
Megan: Wait… I haven’t passed through too, have I?
KS: No, oh nonono you’re just dreaming, I thought it was a good place to talk.

Megan sits, sighing with relief.

KS: Now, Megan. I knew you wouldn’t want to stay at the beach house, but that’s just silliness, I want you to stay! And I promise not to show up, or linger there, even as memories. You have to understand that it’s a place that makes Michael happy. I don’t know how to explain it any better than that. He’s just… different when he’s there, he’s happier, more relaxed. And there’s still something you need to know about him, Megan, you have to be careful, he can be very tough on his wives.
Megan: You mean unfaithful?
KS: No! No, [but really yes, I mean, come on, it’s Michael Mancini] I’m talking about his ruthless ambition, it’s bottomless and never fulfilled, and he drags his wives into this dangerous morass, usually destroying them before he destroys himself. Jane went through it, Sydney twice, I’ve had to clean up.
Megan: What can I do?
KS: What I never could. Save him from himself and your reward will be a solid, happy marriage.
Megan: But I still don’t understand. If you’re so happy up here… why are you worried about my marriage?
KS: Well it isn’t exactly official yet, but I might be your guardian angel!!!! Right now, you have to go back to bed, because there is nothing Michael enjoys more than to be awakened in the middle of the night for looooove-making.
Megan nods, knowingly, then wakes up, and wakes Michael up for… look I’m not going to type it twice.

First, I love how in command of Michael’s new relationship Kimberly is even now that she’s dead. (And I had some doubts as to whether she was really toe-up, but the dream sequence seems to confirm it.) I love you, Lily Bass, but you are no Kimberly Shaw.

I personally hope that Kimberly is just fucking with Michael from beyond the grave. Find someone else to falsify documents for you!

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