Movies on Tv


Watching movies on basic cable is always entertaining for the masking of the swears.

Right now I’m watching John Tucker Must Die (surprisingly hilarious: Dan Humphrey has an ENORMOUS curly mullet and Sophia Bush is a teen vegan activist) and Brittany Snow, temporary ball-cutting feminist (until the deep dicking love of a good man (or failing that, John Tucker) turns her, naturally) breaks up a fight in gym class (home of feminism!!) to be all: “This guy is cheating on all three of you and you’re beating the snot out of each other instead of taking it out on him!!!”

“Language!” interjects the gym teacher, who sends them all to detention. For snot? Oh basic cable, your censorship renders things so nonsensical, like the episode of SatC when Carrie dates a stoner, but they cut all the smoking parts out, so she’s just inexplicably pounding buckets of fried chicken throughout the half hour. Good times.


One Response to “Movies on Tv”

  1. doostyn Says:

    Of course the best basic cable edit is of one of the best movies of all of movie time…Showgirls. The bizarre animated bras that move along with their otherwise-exposed breasts are a work of art! And I’m sure there’s lots of swearing (as our showiest of girls Nomi is prone to) that is rendered inordinately hilarious in the tv edit as well. Almost as enjoyable as the feature film in its unedited glory.

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