SLAT Scripts Are Special in Every Sense of the Word

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To make sense of the following, it should be read with the knowledge that our beloved Betty, played  by the inimitable and geeeeniouss Jennifer Coolidge, is a former prostitute.

Random yard sale attendee:  “Why do you have a dentist’s chair?”

Betty:  “They’re very comfortable.  They’re the most comfortable chairs in the world, and when you spend a lot of hours at the dentist you want to be comfortable, right?”

Random yard sale attendee’s mom:  “Right, yeah…I’m gonna take the red heels, they look as if they’ve hardly been worn.”

Betty:  “Oh yeah, I mean they’ve hardly touched the floor…”

To make sense of the following, it should be read with the knowledge that Grace is dimwitted and exceedingly Christian.

Grace:  “I’m sorry…I just think it’s that time of the month…<awkward pause>…I think I just caught my monthly visitor…<awkward pause>…Jack, my Aunt Flo is in the house…<awkward pause>…the painters are here…I fell off the roof [ok forgive me for being an in-the-dark-in-these-events ‘mo, but huh?]…”

Jack:  “Sounds like your vagina’s really busy.”

To make sense of the following, it should be read with the knowledge that Tom has Down Syndrome and Tammy is also eligible for the Special Olympics in some way to be determined, and they are hilarious because I am a terrible person but hey so is Brenda Hampton and co.

Tom:  “I waaaaaaaaaaaant youuuu….”

Tammy:  <giggles> “I like it when you talk like that…but I like it better when it’s over the phone.  I have to go.  Call me, Tom.”

Um, mega burn to the physical attractiveness of people with Down Syndrome?  What the hell is going on here?

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