The Gospel According to Coco

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Doostyn and I were talking recently about how we want Jennifer Coolidge to guest star on every show we watch, and fortunately for us, that hard working lady does appear in a lot of tv shows and movies.

Obviously, her appearances on Nip/Tuck brought us the greatest  two minutes of music to ever grace the small screen, when her character adopts the rapper name “Coco” (“Candy Richards” apparently was her “slave name”) and releases an album, the title of which is, coincidentally, the title of this post.  Let’s take a look:

She also appeared as Bobbi St. Brown on Party Down, a character so awesome she hit her roommate with a car so that she could get a part in Cannonball 2, (“And it felt right! It was a small car, and I gave her a copy of Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, which blew her mind.”) and who believes that dolphins can change a baby’s diapar underwater.

But my favorite Jennifer Coolidge, is Betty the pizza prostitute from Secret Life of the American Teenager. A lonely Christian man with Down Syndrome mistakenly thinks an escort is just someone you pay to hang out with you. So when his parents and sister are out of the house, Tom invites Betty over. They split a pizza, watch tv, and laugh and laugh. She teaches him a little something about love and life, then tells him that if he doesn’t pay her, her pimp will come and beat him with a bag of oranges. Then, in the greatest moment of tv history, picks up a few leftover slices of pizza and just slides them into her purse. Let me repeat and emphasize that: She picks up the slices. Does NOT pick up the box, does NOT wrap them up first, and just puts them, oozing cheese, into her purse.

If they ever make a movie of my life, I hope someone has the genius to cast her.

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One Response to “The Gospel According to Coco”

  1. These are sun eggs! « Booze. TV. Food. How Do *You* Spend Friday Nights? Says:

    […] are sun eggs! By gnatalby My opinion remains firm, Jennifer Coolidge must continue to be on all my […]

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