When Digging a Roadside Grave…


Samantha: Now, you’ll excuse me for saying this, but lately you’ve been jumping around like a crab in a steampot.

Jane Mancini: A what?

Samantha: It’s an expression. Right before they die, blue crabs, they get all desperate, and they’ll do anything they can to push the lid off the top so you gotta hold them down in there.

Jane: That’s disgusting.

Samantha: Yeah, it’s worth it, though, they taste great.

Does it taste as great as….. muuuuuuuurder?

Not since the Buffy musical episode have I seen such an epidemic of “stuff that should be metaphor turning out to be literal.”

If only when Jane had interred Richard, her former business partner and rapist, in his shallow roadside grave she had waited hold the steampot lid down on him.

As it is, he clawed his way out of his grave (just one hand in the S4 finale, but the whole drooling corpse in the S5 opener) and instead of doing the normal thing and calling the police, has opted to creepily leave the evidence (shovel, trench coat) in various places for Jane to see, probably so she’ll think she’s going mad MAD I say.  He should probably hold onto that stuff though, it seems like with fingerprints they’d have more than enough to put Jane and Sydney away for life– and this time not even wrongfully.


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One Response to “When Digging a Roadside Grave…”

  1. doostyn Says:

    Obviously the police in Melrose alterna-verse exist only to wrongfully imprison our beloved cast of characters. There was the one time they gunned down the dude who had arranged for Matt to be falsely imprisoned, but this was only after Matt took to wearing a homemade wire wherever he went (a tape recorder strapped to his stomach…not obvious at all!). Denizens of MP have been burned too many times to let the police handle matters. Plus they’re sooooooooooo good at policing their own behavior (so much better for Kimberly to be released in Peter Burns’ care after trying to blow up the ‘Place and then become a psychiatric intern…as long as you forget that she later used her power to commit people to an asylum against their will).

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