Slow Clap, Private Practice, I Didn’t Know You Had it in You

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Watched the season (but baflfingly not series) finale last night.

Sam finally admits that he loves Naomi BUT! it doesn’t matter, she’s leaving the practice to usurp Charlotte King’s position and is dating a friend of his, a hot lawyer (who yeah, lawyer’s hot, but he’s no Taye Diggs. And when I say that I remember Wilhelmina Slater on Ugly Betty saying “What is it with white people and Taye Diggs?” That and the awesome time he was on America’s Next Top Model for their acting challenged, when Eva Pigford couldn’t read the names of the diseases and just said, “I have… [baffled look] all these illsnesses.” Good tv times.)

Dell makes an agreement with his strung out ex to buy his daughter Betsy for a cool 10k, BUT! essentially he steals her because he won’t give the ex (Stacy maybe? I don’t know) money so that she can kill herself with the mystery drugs. (I don’t know if we know what she’s into.)

Charlotte King brings all sorts of fancy doctors to her practice BUT! as I mentioned is usurped by Naomi. She decides she really needs Cooper, who she’s been pissed at for taking care of a seriously pregnant Violet. Which is important BECAUSE!

Violet, overwhelmed by proposals from both Sheldon and Pete, as well as overwhelmed by her acceptance of Pete’s amorous advances, decides to hit the hay and head home early WHERE!

Psychotic patient Katie Kent (played by the awesome Amanda Foreman, best known as Megan Rotundi (hee) of Felicity) distraught over her own miscarriage has injected Violet with a paralytic so she can CUT the BABY out of Violet’s massive stomach!!!

Cooper is about to walk in on the gruesome scene, but is called away at the last moment by Charlotte. Someone’s going to have a case of the guilties.

I know I’ve said before that I loathe the cliffhanger, but there is a special exemption for when the cliffhanger is batshit insane like this. This is on par with Dr. Kimberley Shaw running out of the laundry room after wiring Melrose Place to blow shrieking: “It’s not what you think!!!! [Pause, serene crazy smile] It’s much worse.”

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