What Melrose Place and Harry Potter Have in Common: Numerical Inconsistency.


What follows is a classic tv conversation Doostyn and I had over IM when I was working my way through season two of Melrose Place.

Me: I can’t see how Jane can take Michael back after he’s being such a douche. But if he doesn’t live at the titular apt. complex, how will he stay on the show?
And how many apts. are there?
Whose is amanda living in?
Doostyn: um
me: Originally there were….
Doostyn: you’re on season 2 now right?
I always assumed she got Rhonda’s.
me: Oh right!
Doostyn: Amanda owns it anyway, so she can kick anyone out and live in their apt.
Also, she’d enjoy that, on account of her immense bitchitude.
me: So… allison and billy; jane and michael; Rhonda; Matt; Jake; blonde actress/Jo…
Am I missing anyone?
Doostyn: Sydney.
Although– sorry to ruin it, don’t know if she’s there yet. Or back, rather.
me: That would seem to imply 6 apartments are available.
Sydney’s staying at Jane’s.
So now in Season 2 we have AB, Jane, Matt, Amanda, Jo and Jake have moved in…
So unless I’m missing someone there’s an empty apartment at the place.
Doostyn: Hmmmm…
me: Maybe I think too much…
Doostyn: I don’t know.
And yes.
You do.
me: This is like when I tried to figure out how many kids go to Hogwarts…
Doostyn: It might be that when writing this show, consistency with # of apts available is not a top priority.
me: …since each grade only seems to have 15ish boys and 15 girls, but then when there are scenes in the banquet hall or whatever it’s sudden PACKED.
Doostyn: well…
me: When really, there should only be 210 students total.
Doostyn: In each house right 30ish in each grade.

me: Sorry, for some reason I only doubled the 15 per house that I think there are,
Left our rav. and huff.
So 60 per year.
Doostyn: you should be sorry!
me: Which means 420 total, which is about the number of people at my high school at a time.  We certainly never seemed like a throng at all school assemblies.

Doostyn: this might be the nerdiest conversation we’ve ever hadI’d like to think the 2 empty apts were from the two characters from 1st season that were written out of the show and that the apt. sydney’s now in Amanda used as a sex dungeon.

me: But in s1 Amanda wasn’t living at the ‘place–
but I guess she could rent dungeons all over town.

Also! Sydney’s a hooker now?!?!
Allison should totally leave Billy for the cute computer nerd who doesn’t have mush mouth
Doostyn: Sydney should get syphilis in her eyeballs and die.
I can’t stand her.
Although she is entertaining, but like, as a person, clearly heinous.
but like as a person
me: yeah, she’s awful.
Although not nearly as bad as evil Dr. Mancini, jeez louise.
Doostyn: The only characters I love unequivocally and would totally drink with in real life
are amanda woodward and Dr. Kimberly Shaw.
Although I wouldn’t drink a lot with Kimberly for fear of being involuntarily committed or something else ludicrous should I pass out.
me: Hahaha.
Well and also she later becomes an alcoholic when she’s pretending to be Bree on Desperate Housewives.
I really like amanda so far, and I don’t think she’s that bad a person. And I LOVED when she called Keith boring.
Doostyn: I mean, I think they intend for us to sympathize with Allison more but I so don’t.
me: I just want worse and worse things to happen to her…
Doostyn: And amanda is smart and beautiful and cunning–
and yeah, a bitch.
But love me some bitch.


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One Response to “What Melrose Place and Harry Potter Have in Common: Numerical Inconsistency.”

  1. Whaddya, Crackin’ Wise? « Booze. TV. Food. How Do *You* Spend Friday Nights? Says:

    […] might be a question like “How many apts. are there in the place?” that will have to go unanswered, since I think I am 100% of people that […]

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