Just Say ME!

by

What a strange hour of SLAT this week.

Grace proselytizes the joys of masturbation and gets all the girls in school to band together in swearing off guys and instead taking matters into their own hands. They decide “masturbation” sounds icky and start calling it “Just Say Me!” This phrase is repeated about 9 million times in the episode and boy are the boys uncomfortable with it. Ricky particularly, is a disgusting sleaze, commenting that he likes it when Adrian and Amy are fighting because it makes Adrian work harder in bed to keep him, which is fucking repulsive.

He also announces that Adrian has had sex with him for a year, so she’s not allowed to just stop, which is pretty rapey and entitled. I don’t understand what Adrian sees in him, she can do so much better and I definitely don’t mean Tom.

In the end all the boys end up asking the girls out, and I actually laughed out loud when Madison bumped into Jack and said “I didn’t see you!” And he retorted: “Maybe that’s because you WENT BLIND last week!” Hee olden tyme masturbation myths. The best exchange of the night though was Ashley and Amy talking about masturbation and Amy claims that she never does anything without thinking and Ashley goes: “Have you met your son, John?” Bwah!

Continuity on this show continues to suck. Griffin is goading Ashley that she needs to get a boyfriend, but the entire basis of their friendship is a pact not to date in high school. If I can remember that you can too, writers!

Overall it was a surprisingly enjoyable hour of tv which actually said things I agree with: masturbation is a great way take care of sexual urges when you’re not sure you want the complications of a man in your life. That said, as a teenager I would have died sooner than talk about it frankly with my mom, that said I have friends whose parents did discuss it with them and they seemed cool about it. I feel like if I had a kid I would just leave helpful books around the house so that they could be informed but wouldn’t have my face looming in their mind’s eye when they were getting off, because thinking of your mom at a time like that? That can ruin even the healthiest sex drive.

Unless you’re Oedipus. Or Freud.

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