Chupacabra!

by

So apparently SLAT is under the impression that it doesn’t count if you say it in Spanish, hence the repetition of “goat-blower” at 8pm on a family channel. Apparently Adrian broke a window at the butcher shop by throwing her cell phone through it. Girlfriend must have some arm, or that is one thin window.

Ricky:Adrian threw a rock through the window?
Bunny: A cell phone. As she shouted “Chupacabra” it’s a devil dog… goat sucker? You been sucking goats? By sucking goats I mean entertaining other girls in your apt. girls other than Adrian and adrian found out, huh? Sorry chupacabra, you have to pay for the window.

The confrontation between Adrian and Ricky is typical SLAT:

Adrian: [Ruthie Camden] called me and told me she had sex with you; she wanted me to know.
Ricky: And why is that? Why would she want you to know?
Adrian: I don’t know.
Ricky: You slept with her boyfriend before I slept with her, I slept with her to get back at you for sleeping with her boyfriend.
Adrian: I slept with her boyfriend awhile back. And I slept with him to get back at you for sleeping with all those other girls.
Ricky: I slept with all those other girls to get back at you for sleeping with all those other guys.
Adrian: No you didn’t, you slept with all those other girls just because you could
Ricky: You slept with all those other guys just because you could
Adrian: That was before.
Ricky: Before after, who cares?
Adrian: I care, I told you I care I’ve done nothing by try to be nice to you and this is how you treat me
Ricky: How have you tried to be nice to me?
Adrian: I had sex with you.
Ricky: Then you’re nice to everyone, aren’t you?

Grace has sex hair this whole episode, which is funny since we know she’s only having solo sex. Like I said before, it’s like an opioid narcotic the way it calms Grace down. She doesn’t care about Jack and Madison getting together and brightly chirps “I hope we can continue with our dead parents club! I really enjoy it!”

Madison and Jack have slutty oral sex with the door open while his mom is home. Why is it happening? I don’t know. But hilariously it happens while Jack is having the world’s most generic dance party of one. When Madison shows up they rock out together before getting down to business, which actually reminded me of times in college when Doostyn and I would have spontaneous late night dance parties of two or three. But obviously we never went to Bologna after.

Adrian borrowing money from Tom and Tom saying he loves her? Why is it happening? The revelation (thanks to Grace) that Tom and Tammy have phone sex and that Tom pressures Tammy into sex? EW! And WHY IS IT HAPPENING?? I just don’t understand what Tom does with his life other than huff around being patriarchal and manipulative.

Even with Tom in the running, Ben is the creepiest, telling Maria: “Maybe you should have my babies.” Why do all these kids want to have babies? I realize that having a baby has had no impact on Amy’s social life and isn’t much of a cautionary tale, but even still, you’re sixteen!

Ricky’s custody suit seems to have been dropped, and judging by the final moments of the episode, he’s interested in sulky, bratty Amy again for reasons that are unfathomable to me. The only thing this young lady has going for her is her shiny curtain of hair.

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2 Responses to “Chupacabra!”

  1. Emily Says:

    You know, after having recently HAD a baby, I now notice all these shows in which characters supposedly have babies yet there is all this screen time when no one is holding the baby. I didn’t notice before, but now I’m like, where’s the baby?? Modern Family is the most recent offender in my rotation. I’m sure with child labor laws and whatnot it only makes sense to have the baby on screen when the baby is actually relevant to the plot, but it does create a totally skewed vision of what it means to have a baby.

  2. gnatalby Says:

    Heh, I hadn’t particularly noticed that on Modern Family, but I definitely notice it on SLAT, since Amy’s life seems to be completely unaltered by having a baby. She can still just take off in her car whenever to go yell at Ben for awhile.

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