An Evening with the Muumuu Sisters

by

Doostyn

i’m watching nip/tuck right now

9:55pmGnatalby

is it amazing?

9:55pmDoostyn

of course

the opening scene

is a ken and barbie couple

as in

9:55pmGnatalby

awesome

9:55pmDoostyn

the dude

does not have nipples

and the lady wants hers removed

9:56pmGnatalby

oh creeeepy

and awesome

I was thinking about s5

because my impression is that it was boring

but then like you commented back to me

when I think about specifics

there wa s a lot of good stuff

build a bear murder

and I did like hearts and scalpals

9:57pmDoostyn

yeah i thought it was a def step up

9:57pmGnatalby

I think it’s that even boring nip tuck is 90000 times more interesting than interesting everything else

9:57pmDoostyn

yeah it sets the bar pretty high

for being not boring

there’s an awesome big fat lady who is coming on to christian hardcore

and is like “You have no idea what you’re missing”

9:58pmGnatalby

barking up the wrong tree lady

9:58pmDoostyn

and her robe is all open and fat and side boob is hanging out

9:58pmGnatalby

christian is the shallowest man on earth

9:58pmDoostyn

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

they did it!

9:58pmGnatalby

did what?

9:58pmDoostyn

“That’s the best orgasm i’ve ever had”

the business

9:59pmGnatalby

oh christian and the lady did it

9:59pmDoostyn

yeah

9:59pmGnatalby

wow… I would not have expected that

9:59pmDoostyn

it all happened v quickly

9:59pmGnatalby

I love that to get christian in bed all you have to do is be like, “you might think this is gross, but really it’s great”

too bad that doesn’t work on Sean, the actually hot one

though I did notice the last time he was shirtless that while he’s still hot, he’s getting a little less defined in the ab region than he has been

10:00pmDoostyn

oh jeez

they’re playing a song

while operating on the fat woman

10:01pmGnatalby

since overall he’s aging much hotter than christian

10:01pmDoostyn

with the lyrics “Fat mama! Come on and dance with me!”

nip/tuck is so literal

10:01pmGnatalby

oh so sensitive

I know that’s why we love it though

like it’s not enough that Matt is ridiculous, nay, he is an actual clown

10:01pmDoostyn

yeah they’re both saggy, which doesn’t really work for this show

b/c of their profession

is this show making us shallow?

10:02pmGnatalby

yeah, clearly those actors need to go under the knife for integrity

I feel like julia is

as long as we’re only shallow while we watch nip/tuck it’s probably ok

if you ever judge my muumuu and side boob in real life though

10:03pmDoostyn

oh kimber

10:03pmGnatalby

we’ll know it’s a bridge too far

10:03pmDoostyn

she feels now that christian has fucked a fat woman

she has license to get fat

10:03pmGnatalby

haaaa

10:03pmDoostyn

so she’s eating Cherry Garcia for the “first time”

god it must suck to be a skinny bitch

10:04pmDoostyn

aaaaaaaaaagh!

kimber in a fat suit!!!!

being fucked from behind!

by christan!

…..

pausing midway

to go get two spoons

and fudge sauce

10:04pmGnatalby

kimber’s thinness is partially surgically maintained

you’d think she’d eat ice cream all the time

and that’s sort of amazing

though I never want streaky brown matter to make an appearance while I’m boning

but to each their own, I know that’s something you gays enjoy

10:05pmDoostyn

ok this is a very fantasy sequence heavy nip/tuck

10:05pmGnatalby

bwah

10:05pmDoostyn

sean is now in a leave it to beaver like fantasy

with his barbie client

10:06pmGnatalby

I was hoping it was time lapse reality

does she want, in the parlance of hedwig, a barbie doll crotch?

or just a barbie doll chest?

10:06pmDoostyn

i guess just the chest

although it’s a slippery slope i’m sure

10:07pmGnatalby

I guess you can never get a true barbie/ken lower half unless catheters are involved

10:07pmDoostyn

aaaaaaaaaaaaaa

you ARE a socerer

sean has a barbie doll crotch!

10:07pmGnatalby

don’t worry, I”ll use my powers for good

10:07pmDoostyn

that whole sequence was nutty even for nutty nip/tuck

“Christian told me about blow jobs at work”

“You mean putting your penis in my mouth? Isn’t that….sex?”

10:08pmGnatalby

please tell me it’s a macnamara/troy bejammer

10:09pmDoostyn

if only

god christian is so easily phobic

one homoerotic shower and he’s punching dudes

one fantasy sequence of fat kimber and fudge sauce

and he’s kicking the fat lady out of the office

10:10pmGnatalby

heh yeah nip/tuck definitely subscribes to the idea that phobias are based in desire

it reminds me of the scene in big love

when someone is like “he wanted to take one of my wives”

and it cuts to one of the scary compound ladies

10:11pmDoostyn

“Look I’m not stupid, and I’m not blind….I’m just a gorgeous sexy woman trapped in a fat person’s body”

um, what?

10:11pmGnatalby

with her 19th century hair and dowdiness

heh, right, I mean, love the skin you’re in lady

you can be a gorgeous sexy fat lady

see Winfrey, Oprah, Latifah, Queen

10:12pmDoostyn

whoah

boobs can be on tv

if the nipples are removed by special effects

10:12pmGnatalby

creeeeeeeepy

I want that even less

10:13pmGnatalby

apparently the nipple is what makes it dirty

never mind that men’s nipples are on tv all the time

lady nipples are only for filthy pervs

it’s like transubstantiation

10:15pmDoostyn

in what way?

please explain religious scholar

parade of naked fat men!

10:15pmGnatalby

hehe

10:15pmDoostyn

in the office

“What are you doing in here?” says fat lady

“Saving your beautiful ass!”

says one of the fat naked men

why are they naked

maybe i missed something…

10:16pmGnatalby

I just meant that man nipples and lady nipples are the same, unless magical designation makes them different

is she being saved by feeders?

are they there to tell her to love the skin she’s in?

are the fat men, essentially, you and me, the viewers in muumuus at home?

10:17pmDoostyn

yeah

maybe we’re meant to be roused to rip our muumuus off and parade into plastic surgery offices

10:18pmGnatalby

it seems a little cold for that

10:18pmDoostyn

“Chemo…well that could be the best diet ever right?”

that’s….looking on the bright side

10:18pmGnatalby

too bad we don’t live in LA

dude, that’s what my grandma said to my mom

10:18pmDoostyn

holy fuck you have to be joking

10:18pmGnatalby

at least your double mastectomy made you look thin

nope

10:18pmDoostyn

does your grandmother write for nip/tuck

10:18pmGnatalby

her mom, quite a prize

10:19pmDoostyn

that is the best gig insensitive people can aspire to

10:19pmGnatalby

she also gave me a necklace for my birthday and said it was too cute to pass up even though it would get lost in my rolls

10:19pmDoostyn

case in point….christian walking in on kimber puking up her binge fest: “you’re pathetic!”

10:20pmGnatalby

like, I mean, other than my boobs, I don’t think I have anything on my upper chest that qualifies as a roll

10:20pmDoostyn

wow she should submit her resume

based on those two comments alone

10:20pmGnatalby

is kimber bulemic or is the cherry garcia just not sitting well since she usually doesn’t eat?

10:21pmDoostn

maybe the cherry garcia isn’t sitting well with the entire pepperoni pizza resting on top

also that’s gotta be a tiny stomach

10:21pmGnatalby

amateur

10:21pmDustin

ha, seriously

10:21pmGnatalby

I always wonder that about skinny people actually

like, i love them

but how do their organs fit into such a limited space?

apparently organs are much smaller than I thought

10:22pmDoostyn

maybe their puny skinny person organs

10:22pmGnatalby

and more of me is made up by lumps of cherry garcia and pepperoni than I want to admit

10:22pmDoostyn

my organs are big and beautiful!

just like my ass!

10:23pmGnatalby

my liver is just incredibly buff and bulky

10:23pmDoostyn

ok ken is gay now

actually his name is skip

10:23pmGnatalby

ahahaaaaa

10:23pmDoostyn

(i mean we always knew that about the doll, so makes sense)

but he’s gay

b/c sean slept with barbie

10:23pmGnatalby

not earring magic ken?

that’s so strange

10:23pmDoostyn

which somehow gave him the freedom to admit he’s gay

and bring in his new lover (that was quick)

for calf implants

hahahahaha

Barbie to Sean “I love your Malibu beach house. Even if it could use a little color.”

10:24pmGnatalby

because like, the nipples that he wanted removed was the only commonality between a  man and a lady

clearly sean needs to make it bright pink

with a pink corvette parked outside

10:25pmDoostyn

yeah all that pink really worked out well with her last man…

10:25pmGnatalby

bwah good point

sad, I wanted julia and sean to get back together

10:27pmDoostyn

oh no, barbie is christian and kimber’s play thing apparently

sean went to bed with the hooker

that christian hired

out of apparent pity

ooooo the hooker’s blackmailing them in the next episode according to the previews

10:28pmGnatalby

didn’t kimber learn about threesomes when her relationship with jonathan kent/bo duke went south?

10:28pmDoostyn

god sean can’t even find a hooker to fuck that won’t destroy his life

he really should keep it in the pants for a while

you mean ram peters?

10:29pmGnatalby

yes I always forget that name and am always delighted

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2 Responses to “An Evening with the Muumuu Sisters”

  1. gnatalby Says:

    I don’t know how I could NOT think this is a brilliant post. ;)

  2. FilthyGrandeur Says:

    wow. this was totally awesome. entertaining, and it saved me from suffering through the episode. nip/tuck is certainly not boring, but i think i’m nonetheless tiring of how they cram so much “omg shocking!!!!!” into each episode.

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