Doostyn
i’m watching nip/tuck right now
9:55pmGnatalby
is it amazing?
9:55pmDoostyn
of course
the opening scene
is a ken and barbie couple
as in
9:55pmGnatalby
awesome
9:55pmDoostyn
the dude
does not have nipples
and the lady wants hers removed
9:56pmGnatalby
oh creeeepy
and awesome
I was thinking about s5
because my impression is that it was boring
but then like you commented back to me
when I think about specifics
there wa s a lot of good stuff
build a bear murder
and I did like hearts and scalpals
9:57pmDoostyn
yeah i thought it was a def step up
9:57pmGnatalby
I think it’s that even boring nip tuck is 90000 times more interesting than interesting everything else
9:57pmDoostyn
yeah it sets the bar pretty high
for being not boring
there’s an awesome big fat lady who is coming on to christian hardcore
and is like “You have no idea what you’re missing”
9:58pmGnatalby
barking up the wrong tree lady
9:58pmDoostyn
and her robe is all open and fat and side boob is hanging out
9:58pmGnatalby
christian is the shallowest man on earth
9:58pmDoostyn
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
they did it!
9:58pmGnatalby
did what?
9:58pmDoostyn
“That’s the best orgasm i’ve ever had”
the business
9:59pmGnatalby
oh christian and the lady did it
9:59pmDoostyn
yeah
9:59pmGnatalby
wow… I would not have expected that
9:59pmDoostyn
it all happened v quickly
9:59pmGnatalby
I love that to get christian in bed all you have to do is be like, “you might think this is gross, but really it’s great”
too bad that doesn’t work on Sean, the actually hot one
though I did notice the last time he was shirtless that while he’s still hot, he’s getting a little less defined in the ab region than he has been
10:00pmDoostyn
oh jeez
they’re playing a song
while operating on the fat woman
10:01pmGnatalby
since overall he’s aging much hotter than christian
10:01pmDoostyn
with the lyrics “Fat mama! Come on and dance with me!”
nip/tuck is so literal
10:01pmGnatalby
oh so sensitive
I know that’s why we love it though
like it’s not enough that Matt is ridiculous, nay, he is an actual clown
10:01pmDoostyn
yeah they’re both saggy, which doesn’t really work for this show
b/c of their profession
is this show making us shallow?
10:02pmGnatalby
yeah, clearly those actors need to go under the knife for integrity
I feel like julia is
as long as we’re only shallow while we watch nip/tuck it’s probably ok
if you ever judge my muumuu and side boob in real life though
10:03pmDoostyn
oh kimber
10:03pmGnatalby
we’ll know it’s a bridge too far
10:03pmDoostyn
she feels now that christian has fucked a fat woman
she has license to get fat
10:03pmGnatalby
haaaa
10:03pmDoostyn
so she’s eating Cherry Garcia for the “first time”
god it must suck to be a skinny bitch
10:04pmDoostyn
aaaaaaaaaagh!
kimber in a fat suit!!!!
being fucked from behind!
by christan!
…..
pausing midway
to go get two spoons
and fudge sauce
10:04pmGnatalby
kimber’s thinness is partially surgically maintained
you’d think she’d eat ice cream all the time
and that’s sort of amazing
though I never want streaky brown matter to make an appearance while I’m boning
but to each their own, I know that’s something you gays enjoy
10:05pmDoostyn
ok this is a very fantasy sequence heavy nip/tuck
10:05pmGnatalby
bwah
10:05pmDoostyn
sean is now in a leave it to beaver like fantasy
with his barbie client
10:06pmGnatalby
I was hoping it was time lapse reality
does she want, in the parlance of hedwig, a barbie doll crotch?
or just a barbie doll chest?
10:06pmDoostyn
i guess just the chest
although it’s a slippery slope i’m sure
10:07pmGnatalby
I guess you can never get a true barbie/ken lower half unless catheters are involved
10:07pmDoostyn
aaaaaaaaaaaaaa
you ARE a socerer
sean has a barbie doll crotch!
10:07pmGnatalby
don’t worry, I”ll use my powers for good
10:07pmDoostyn
that whole sequence was nutty even for nutty nip/tuck
“Christian told me about blow jobs at work”
“You mean putting your penis in my mouth? Isn’t that….sex?”
10:08pmGnatalby
please tell me it’s a macnamara/troy bejammer
10:09pmDoostyn
if only
god christian is so easily phobic
one homoerotic shower and he’s punching dudes
one fantasy sequence of fat kimber and fudge sauce
and he’s kicking the fat lady out of the office
10:10pmGnatalby
heh yeah nip/tuck definitely subscribes to the idea that phobias are based in desire
it reminds me of the scene in big love
when someone is like “he wanted to take one of my wives”
and it cuts to one of the scary compound ladies
10:11pmDoostyn
“Look I’m not stupid, and I’m not blind….I’m just a gorgeous sexy woman trapped in a fat person’s body”
um, what?
10:11pmGnatalby
with her 19th century hair and dowdiness
heh, right, I mean, love the skin you’re in lady
you can be a gorgeous sexy fat lady
see Winfrey, Oprah, Latifah, Queen
10:12pmDoostyn
whoah
boobs can be on tv
if the nipples are removed by special effects
10:12pmGnatalby
creeeeeeeepy
I want that even less
10:13pmGnatalby
apparently the nipple is what makes it dirty
never mind that men’s nipples are on tv all the time
lady nipples are only for filthy pervs
it’s like transubstantiation
10:15pmDoostyn
in what way?
please explain religious scholar
parade of naked fat men!
10:15pmGnatalby
hehe
10:15pmDoostyn
in the office
“What are you doing in here?” says fat lady
“Saving your beautiful ass!”
says one of the fat naked men
why are they naked
maybe i missed something…
10:16pmGnatalby
I just meant that man nipples and lady nipples are the same, unless magical designation makes them different
is she being saved by feeders?
are they there to tell her to love the skin she’s in?
are the fat men, essentially, you and me, the viewers in muumuus at home?
10:17pmDoostyn
yeah
maybe we’re meant to be roused to rip our muumuus off and parade into plastic surgery offices
10:18pmGnatalby
it seems a little cold for that
10:18pmDoostyn
“Chemo…well that could be the best diet ever right?”
that’s….looking on the bright side
10:18pmGnatalby
too bad we don’t live in LA
dude, that’s what my grandma said to my mom
10:18pmDoostyn
holy fuck you have to be joking
10:18pmGnatalby
at least your double mastectomy made you look thin
nope
10:18pmDoostyn
does your grandmother write for nip/tuck
10:18pmGnatalby
her mom, quite a prize
10:19pmDoostyn
that is the best gig insensitive people can aspire to
10:19pmGnatalby
she also gave me a necklace for my birthday and said it was too cute to pass up even though it would get lost in my rolls
10:19pmDoostyn
case in point….christian walking in on kimber puking up her binge fest: “you’re pathetic!”
10:20pmGnatalby
like, I mean, other than my boobs, I don’t think I have anything on my upper chest that qualifies as a roll
10:20pmDoostyn
wow she should submit her resume
based on those two comments alone
10:20pmGnatalby
is kimber bulemic or is the cherry garcia just not sitting well since she usually doesn’t eat?
10:21pmDoostn
maybe the cherry garcia isn’t sitting well with the entire pepperoni pizza resting on top
also that’s gotta be a tiny stomach
10:21pmGnatalby
amateur
10:21pmDustin
ha, seriously
10:21pmGnatalby
I always wonder that about skinny people actually
like, i love them
but how do their organs fit into such a limited space?
apparently organs are much smaller than I thought
10:22pmDoostyn
maybe their puny skinny person organs
10:22pmGnatalby
and more of me is made up by lumps of cherry garcia and pepperoni than I want to admit
10:22pmDoostyn
my organs are big and beautiful!
just like my ass!
10:23pmGnatalby
my liver is just incredibly buff and bulky
10:23pmDoostyn
ok ken is gay now
actually his name is skip
10:23pmGnatalby
ahahaaaaa
10:23pmDoostyn
(i mean we always knew that about the doll, so makes sense)
but he’s gay
b/c sean slept with barbie
10:23pmGnatalby
not earring magic ken?
that’s so strange
10:23pmDoostyn
which somehow gave him the freedom to admit he’s gay
and bring in his new lover (that was quick)
for calf implants
hahahahaha
Barbie to Sean “I love your Malibu beach house. Even if it could use a little color.”
10:24pmGnatalby
because like, the nipples that he wanted removed was the only commonality between a man and a lady
clearly sean needs to make it bright pink
with a pink corvette parked outside
10:25pmDoostyn
yeah all that pink really worked out well with her last man…
10:25pmGnatalby
bwah good point
sad, I wanted julia and sean to get back together
10:27pmDoostyn
oh no, barbie is christian and kimber’s play thing apparently
sean went to bed with the hooker
that christian hired
out of apparent pity
ooooo the hooker’s blackmailing them in the next episode according to the previews
10:28pmGnatalby
didn’t kimber learn about threesomes when her relationship with jonathan kent/bo duke went south?
10:28pmDoostyn
god sean can’t even find a hooker to fuck that won’t destroy his life
he really should keep it in the pants for a while
you mean ram peters?
10:29pmGnatalby
yes I always forget that name and am always delighted
Tags: Nip/Tuck
December 3, 2009 at 5:40 am |
I don’t know how I could NOT think this is a brilliant post.
December 6, 2009 at 3:21 pm |
wow. this was totally awesome. entertaining, and it saved me from suffering through the episode. nip/tuck is certainly not boring, but i think i’m nonetheless tiring of how they cram so much “omg shocking!!!!!” into each episode.